My Tics Are Affecting My Life Badly, How Can I Improve Them?
Question by Remmington: My tics are affecting my life badly, how can I improve them?
I’m a 20 year old male and I have tics. It’s a form of tourettes and it involves me twitching my eyes forcefully or shaking my head. I use to have a lot more different tics but they change at times. I’ve had tics since I was very little it started with touching things, and got way way worse. I was very depressed for a long time and still am. In that time noone understood tics neither did I. I try to believe its all in your head but it’s so hard to stop. I was abused mentally and physically badly by a lot of people. I always came home with bruises. I was constantly getting into fights with people cause there’s very little teachers can actually control. I was tired of their **** and wouldn’t stand for people making fun of me all of the time. EVEN TEACHERS MADE FUN OF ME. Or told me to quit acting like a fool if I was doing weird tics and distracting others. I guess the plus side it made me the tough person I am today. I tried everything herbal remedies, a ridiculous variety of medication, eating healthy, exercising, quit drinking, and quit drugs. They still remain and I feel very imperior to it. There’s one thing I’m upset about now and its my love life. I am very good at talking with women and telling them what they want to hear. all my friends that are girls tell me im an extremely good looking guy with a great body and people laugh at me sometimes and say how don’t you have a girl friend? As I got older i slowly learned how to control tics, but let me tell you it is very exhausting on your brain. Sometimes it makes it worse in the end. I will meet women anywhere but I usually go to the bar. I’m not afraid to get rejected and I find I’m pretty confident. But I have a very tough time keeping a girl. If I’m at the bar or somewhere meeting a girl I’m good at controlling my tics most of the time but it doesn’t always work depending how I feel. If I’m able to hide my tics long enough around a girl I usually don’t have no problem taking her home. But the relationship usually doesn’t last long because I can’t hide my tics forever around them and slowly I think they lose interest because let’s be honest I think most women find it a turn off. I’m not talking about just girls at the bar cause their one night stands. But if I’m going on a date with a girl we will sometimes hit it off very well and when I do my tics I feel like it almost freaks her out and she slowly loses interest. Knowing how to talk to women or groups of them by myself and controlling the urge of intense tics is extremely tough. Takes a lot of practice. People always tell me “oh their not worth your time you deserve someone better. There’s those girls out there.” Well sure there is but it is very hard to find someone to accept my tics. I will go places all the time and see the happiest couples together and it makes me very sad inside. I feel like I will be alone for a long time. All my friends have girl friends and I feel like a loser with noone when we all go somewhere. And I’m tired of taking girls home from the bar, but it seems like it’s the only way to be with a girl even if its for a short time. Because one night of controlling my tics isn’t nearly as hard as controlling it around a girl all the time. I’m feeling depressed a lot more lately so I’ve been taking mdma every once in a while to help me feel happy again. Which is pathetic. I hate being weak but I just don’t know what I can do anymore. If anyone has an ideas how I can improve my tics or something different I should try please let me know because it feels like I’ve tried everything.
Best answer:
Answer by Melody
OK…first of all, take a deep breath. You are NOT alone. In no manner, at all. I have Tourette Syndrome. ( But that’s another story.) What you should know: there are over 200,000 other people in the US alone who have Tourette Syndrome. Countless more are affected by milder variants of tic disorder, which often go undiagnosed. There are also many potential treatments. Yes, medications, but depending on what ones you’ve tried, (and how long ago that was) there may be better options out there for you. There are also non-medication treatments now available, including a type of behavior based therapy which is supposed to help people minimize the impact tics have on their lives, called CBIT. It also sounds to me like you have a significant mood/depression (if not far more significant than with your tics.) This, especially, requires attention.
What you should do: Talk to your doctor, your general doctor, about your concerns over your tics and your depression. Ask about a referral for a doctor who can better treat your depression (probably a psychiatrist, and you should probably try therapy too.) And ask about seeing a neurologist, who should have up-to-date knowledge about Tourette Syndrome/tic disorder and be able to help you with treatment.
And you are NOT weak. I know, how frustrating, how miserable, it can be to deal with TS, the other issues that come with it, and how it feels to be looked at strangely, to worry you’ll never find someone, to not have friends, to be made fun of, to be misunderstood, to feel lost and hopeless…. That’s not weakness. It is, in fact, emotion, which is part of being human. Sure, this right now, sucks. But to feel better, you’re going to have to ask for help. A psychiatrist, optimally a team of doctors–a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, and a neurologist, should be able to help you on your way to controlling your depression, your drug use, and decreasing your tics.
I think right now a lot of the problem is your depression, which is making everything else much worse for you. Please seek help. In person help. Y! Answers is an OK place to do a sort of shout out, but in person help is what is going to get you where you want to be.
In the meantime, there are ample online support groups, including those for depression, addiction, and tic disorders. One really good group I particpate in is Tic Talk on facebook, which is by and for people with tics and Tourette Syndrome.
For futher information, and to help find a doctor, you can visit www.tsa-usa.org (or the link for your country, if you’re not a US national.)
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