Causes of Addiction: Could You Edit My Essay I a Learning English on My Own Without a Tutor! It Would Be Great to Get Your Feedback?
Question by PleasePleaseIneedyourhelp: Could you edit my essay I a learning English on my own without a tutor! It would be great to get your feedback?
Thanks a lot in advice for your enourmous help
Write about the following topic:
In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Smoking is the most disgusting and bad habit. Lots of people are addicted to smoking and they are not able to conquer their harmful habit. Because of smoking addicted people who are non smokers without their own will are to expose to smoking.
Now in many countries there is a tendency when smoking in public places is strictly forbidden. Smoking addicted people say that their banning of smoking simply break their rights.
As far as I am concerned, smoking must definitely forbidden in public places. First of all, it has been proven that second smoking is as harmful as smoking itself so is a common fallacy that second smoking is unharmful and will not deteriorate the health of those who are exposed to it. Secondly, smoking cause such fatal diseases as cancer. So why people who lead healthy lifestyle and do not smoke should suffer because of egoistical desire of smokers? Moreover, numerous leading psychologists and esteemed scholars in statistics underline that teenagers are less prone to smoking in countries where smoking in public places is illegal.
On the other hand, there are people who claim that smoking should be considered as a cherished right, and mainly these people are themselves smokers. They support their view by saying that smoking is an addiction and smokers if they do not smoke at the moment of a great desire simply suffer painstakingly. They say that cruel and they feel as if they encounter a rampant prejudice by the society.
In conclusion, I think that it is quite just if smoker must leave building if they are going to smoke and smoking must be allowed in public places like. People who smoke must be aware that non smokers must suffer because of their addiction.
Best answer:
Answer by HappyChip
“Smoking is a most disgusting habit. Many people are addicted to smoking and they have extreme difficulty in conquering their harmful habit. Because of those addicted to their cigarettes, non-smokers can be exposed to smoke against their will.
In many countries these days smoking in public places is strictly forbidden. Smokers say that the ban on smoking is a simple contravention of their rights.
In my opinion, smoking must definitely be forbidden in public places. First of all, it has been proven that secondary smoke is as harmful as smoking itself. It is a common fallacy therefore that second-hand smoke is not harmful to the health of those who are exposed to it. Secondly, smoking increases the chances of succumbing to such diseases as cancer, which can be fatal. Why, therefore, should people who lead a healthy lifestyle and who do not smoke suffer because of the selfish behaviour of smokers?
Moreover, numerous leading psychologists and academics are able to produce statistics showing that teenagers are less likely to take up smoking in countries where it is illegal to light up in public places.
On the other hand, there are people who claim that smoking should be considered as a cherished right, and these people are mainly themselves smokers. They support their view by saying that smoking is an addiction and smokers if they are not able to have a cigarette at the moment of craving suffer tremendously. They say that is cruel, and they feel as if they are the victims of rampant prejudice by society.
In conclusion, I think that it is quite fair if a smoker has to leave a building to indulge in a cigarette. Smoking must not be allowed in public places. People who smoke must be made aware that non-smokers suffer because of their nicotine addiction.”
If something is “disgusting”, it goes without saying that it is “bad”, so you don’t need both adjectives.
The definition of an addict is someone who can’t give something up, or faces extreme difficulty in doing so. However, many do conquer their addiction to cigarettes.
It is long-winded and unnecessary to say “people who are non-smokers”. Simply say “non-smokers”.
You need to vary your vocabulary. You have used “smoke” and “smoking” a great deal. You will see I have varied this by putting “cigarettes”, “lighting up” or “habit”. You could also consider using “nicotine” as well.
“Deteriorate” is an intransitive verb, so it cannot have an object. We say “The man’s health deteriorated”, but “This is harmful to your health.”
It is just “society” here, not “the” society.
Smoking does not cause cancer. If it did, everyone who smoked would end up with cancer. Smoking increases the likelihood that you will have cancer, particularly of the lungs, mouth and throat.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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