Drug Addiction Recovery at 17 Years Old. PLEASE Help.?
Question by serena: Drug addiction recovery at 17 years old. PLEASE help.?
I have been struggling with a drug addiction for over a year now. It all started with marijuana which led to ecstasy which led to pain meds which led to cocaine. Before drugs, I was always the “good” girl. I was heavily involved in choir, drill team, and HOSA. But all of that changed. I was hurt by so many of the people that I let my happiness depend on. I had a lot of bad influences in my life and ended up hanging out with the wrong crowd of people. I went to truancy court for skipping 18 days of school over the course of the 1st semester.. out of 179 days I was present 161. My judge court ordered me to go to an inpatient rehab for 30 days. The rehab really helped me a lot and dramatically changed the way I think. I realized that none of the people I hung out with were true friends. They were all “using” friends.. No one has even called to check on me or anything. Anyways, my judge also put me on the type of house arrest where I can’t go anywhere without a parent. I truly believed coming out of rehab that I would never use again. 3 days out my dad accisentally left the keys to the alcohol cabinet out and I drank. I HATE drinking. I’m not sure why I did it, I guess the opportunity just presented itself. Needless to say I told my dad about it immediately because I drank more than I intended and I was crying the whole time until I blacked out. I felt the worst guilt of my life for a week after that. I’m a 17 year old girl who’s grown up without ANY necessities, my family loves me SO much. And while in rehab I realized that it wasn’t worth it to me to use drugs if it meant losing everything including my family. I haven’t had any cravings since I drank and I’ve been sober for about a month now. The arising problem is that my parents put me in a sober recovery school to be away from all of the bad influences in my life, but there are still people who use there and cheat their bi-monthly drug tests that we all have. It’s a huge temptation.. I realize that drugs will be everywhere I go and I have to learn to say no.. It’s just so hard. I wish this hadn’t happened to me. I lost all of my real friends so long ago and I have so little trust from my family. At times I feel as if I’ve overcome this disease but other times I feel very week. The only thing I still really crave are cigarettes which I was allowed to smoke befor I went to rehab but I’m not anymore. I just want to be ok. I don’t want to live like this anymore. Sure, things are slowly getting better, but too slowly. I’m still young, and I want to turn my life around. But it’s not easy. People think it’s so easy, as simple as just “not using” but it’s hard to understand unless you suffer from this disease. I would really like some advice or maybe even someone to talk to when I’m going through a rough patch. If you read through my whole question; thank you, it means a lot 🙂
Best answer:
Answer by Jody
I understand. I’ve been in recovery, sober for over 10 years. It’s a tough road. I could not do it without AA and Al-Anon.
Make your friends in those recovery groups. Stay close to meetings and get involved in service work.
Relapse is part of recovery for some people. Sometimes we need to fall again before we really make a determined stand. As you know, there is little chance of permanent recovery without lifestyle changes, and changes in thinking, feelings and behavior.
You cannot get a year of recovery until you do a year of sobriety. It comes slowly, but you will never regret getting and staying clean. I know it’s hard now, but it gets better. Lean on your AA and NA firends and grab onto a sponsor that has good things going on in her life.
Those kids that are cheating in the program are only cheating themselves and getting sicker with their entrenched thinking and behaviors every time they use. Don’t think they’re getting away with anything, they are dying. You need to be about the business of living.
Participate. Get a home group right away, and reach out for help. Ask questions. Grab onto your home-group members and don’t let go. Good luck and God Bless you.
Answer by Selah
I am so sorry to hear of the pain and confusion that you are going through. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to face each day with these thoughts and feelings. I remember when I was going through the same issues over 30 years ago. Even though it has been awhile since I have been in your place with alcohol instead of drugs, the pain is the same. I struggled from the time is was 8 years old to 21 years old with alcohol dependency, depression, rejection, abandonment and all the same things you are going through. Some things do not change over time.
I am not telling you that all is perfect now, yet I can speak to you with words of hope and freedom if you are interested. I am not trying to pitch my services or plans, and sure do not want you to see me as just another person pedaling another rehab program. I look at life as too precious to waste and the best indicator of whether we feel worthwhile or valuable does not comes down to how we successful we are but how we percieve ourselves as successful or fruitful. I do not believe that our society’s view of value and worth is accurate. You are valuable and important even if the world or friends around you do not believe you are. With these ideas in place, that is why I work with a plan that is outside the traditional model of dealing with these issues. This is not a commerical, since I can not advertise my services directly, I encourage you to view www.addictionrecoveryassistance.com and if you like what you see, contact me.
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