How Addiction Happens

Question by Kevin Cates: How can I handle this situation?
I have been with a girl for over a year now. We broke up over a month ago over her substance abuse problem. She pretty much does any drug she can get her hands on & drinks anytime she can get alcohol. She has no money so she relies on her friends and other people to give her drugs, alcohol, etc. She is on probation & is facing 10 years if she violates her probation. About 3 weeks ago she had a probation meeting & she knew she was going to test positive for drugs. She told her probation officer & her probation officer decided to put her into rehab. The problem is she has already been to rehab 3 times in the past 5 years. It really seems to do her no good. She just plays the system gets out & starts the cycle all over again. She disappears for days at a time doing lord knows what. She lies, cheats, & steals from all the people who really love her like me & her mother. And at the same time she treats all of her friends like gold. Probably because they are enabling her. She is 23 years old. I have tried to help her out all that I can but its dragging me down. I have been scared to death over the past month of her going back to prison or overdosing on drugs. I cant sleep at night cause all I do is worry about her. I know she does not care for me like I do her. Should I give up completely on her? She cant care about me if she acts like this. I feel she is a sinking ship that I or anyone else just cant save.

Best answer:

Answer by Mama Tex
Its time to move on. you have tried and it is obvious that she has no desire to change. The next time you see her you tell her you are no longer interested in being an addicts boyfriend and if she ever cleans up for good to look you up. Until then lose your name and your number. you love her but you have to start looking at your own life and will not keep taking care of someone who does not care about themselves or you. the end.

Answer by Mathsorcerer
Your analogy is accurate–she is a sinking ship. Are you going to drown with her or are you going to save yourself and have a real life?

One cold, hard fact of reality is this: some people do not *want* to be saved. This girl is one of those people.

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