How Would I Know if Someone May Be Borderline-Personality?
Question by Thomas: How would I know if someone may be Borderline-Personality?
I know someone whose parents I am trying to help. Her father and step-mother are her guardians and she is a good person but she has struggles in her past. Her mother neglected her the first 4 years and then her father got her and he married 2 years later. The mother was negligent and had a male friend who may have been abusive (nothing is 100% known). These are some of the traits the daughter is having who is now 22.
1. She will get intimately close to someone and share every detail of her life (a little too much) but turn on those closest to her if she senses rejection.
2. She has only once been close to a boyfriend. (that may be normal) despite having many brief relationships.
3. She can lie like she believes what she is lying about. For example, she made an elaborate story once about how she helped revive someone after a really bad car wreck and later someone showed she wasn’t even in the area she said she was that day.
4. She loves attention with dramatic statements on-line through Twitter and Facebook where she makes things sound worse then they really are. I am not aware of any suicide threats though.
5. She is consumed with fears that her step-mother loves her own two kids more then her.
6. She seems like she rejects people before they can reject her.
7. She has trauma from the early years.
8. She can be very focused in some areas and very lazy in others despite not having any diagnosed learning disability.
I know some of this is just personality traits and it would take a doctor to observe and diagnose but I was just curious from anyone on here who has Borderline-Personality Disorder or is familiar with people who do. It is my mother’s cousin’s child and I know the child cannot help it so I offered to ask on here. The parents of the girl are anti-doctor which I find silly of them but they are taking her to a doctor now. My step-mother’s niece has Borderline Personality Disorder and is getting treatment so I am somewhat familiar with how hard it can be and I have anxiety disorders so I know these are not the patients fault at all. The birthmother of the girl described above had no diagnosed mental health problems but was known to have addictions (not sure if it was drugs or alcohol) and thus likely had underlining issues. The girl hasn’t seen her birthmother since her father got custody and has no desire to.
Best answer:
Answer by On A Journey
From what you describe it doesn’t sound like Borderline. She may not even have any kind of diagnosis, but it sounds like her past has negatively impacted her. She might benefit from counselling or some other way to work through her issues, but that is dependent on a lot of things. If she does not see herself as having the issues you listed she may not be as willing to engage in that kind of journey.
Answer by Starry Eyes
Most borderlines will cut themselves, act impulsively, do drugs, go on binges, have an eating disorder, etc etc. I’ve never met a fellow borderline who didn’t cut themselves, and I’ve never met a fellow borderline that didn’t have some sort of eating disorder or drug problem. I have BPD myself so I’m familiar with the little signs and symptoms that some people wouldn’t recognize.
From what you’ve described, she has the childhood trauma but not every single symptom of BPD (but I believe you only need 5 of the symptoms to be diagnosed). The first symptom you listed is a tell-tale sign of BPD though, along with a few others you listed.
From my experience she could be borderline, but she could also possibly be histrionic personality disorder, or who knows, maybe even narcissistic. The only way to tell is to have her diagnosed by a medical professional. Good luck.
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