How Addiction Happens

Question by kailee smith: Is My Mom on Drugs again? PLEASE HELP ME I AM SO SCARED!?
Okay, first off, i swear this isn’t a troll. I would never joke about my mother and drugs.
Okayy here goes:

So in February 2011, my mother was in rehab for prescription pain killers addiction. She was addicted for about 3 years. Nobody knew she was an addict until after she went to the treatment center. But anyways, everything was all good after she got out and was home again. and i thought, “Yes. A new start.” i was happy, and life was good. It obviously has been quite a few months since she was in the treatment center since it is October now, but today, something came up.
My Step dad came into my room where i was today, when we were the only ones home. And he just said, “Kailee, if your mom ever tries to drive you somewhere, and she acts like, all loopy or weird or anything, just tell her no.” I thought about it for a second and it scared me. i just asked him, “What makes you say that? Did something happen?” he just said, “Nope. Not yet.” i kept asking him if something happened and why he was saying that, but he just said, “Nothing happened” and “well just because” but thinking back on it now, he was acting a little odd. I think something happened and he isn’t telling me because he doesn’t want to scare me or stress me out. But thinking on it now again too, my mom was acting strange today. Here’s what happened:

Yesterday, my neighbor had a birthday party for her 3 year old daughter. This little girl is a total brat, and i felt like if i went, i would be stuck babysitting her. Because whenever the parents go places, they have me tag along with them to babysit while they do whatever.. (whole other story, if you really want to know, the question is on my page :P) I told my mom i didn’t want to go, and she got upset and secretly tried to make me feel guilty. But i still didn’t go. Todd, (my step dad) just said he didn’t care if i didn’t go because he didn’t want to either. So today, my younger sister, (who did go) spent literally the entire day at her friends house. even though Sunday is supposed to be an “Off limits to friends day” for everyone. And when she finally came home, i mentioned it to my mom, and she told me this: “Well, it is a reward for Skylar because she came to that party yesterday, even though she didn’t want to go either” and then my sister said, “Actually, i did want to go. it was super fun!” my mom just didn’t say anything. This is exactly how my mom acted when she was an addict. Unfair to me, and not noticing my sister’s selfish, and bratty ways. Just feeding them.

What should i do? If i confront my mother, she will deny it straight up. and she will never confess. Obviously if something is up, Todd already knows, and he won’t tell me, but he is keeping it from me in an attempt to protect me, so i don’t want to be ungrateful for that. Last year i saw the school counselor multiple times during these problems. What should i do?

Best answer:

Answer by Roger Smith
as hard as this may seem, first you have to realize your mother is grown & is going to do what she want to. but that don’t mean you shouldn’t let her know you are concerned & don’t want to see her back addicted. but it has to be a family involvement. it can’t help if your step-dad is keeping it from you & not addressing the issue to her along with you or your sister not concerned enough whether she is or not addicted, as long as she gets her way. it takes all you together to talk to her & let her know you are concerned. i hope you all can talk to her into getting help if she is indeed back addicted…

Answer by Karen
There’s nothing you can do to change your mom or her behavior. There’s no point in confronting her about using, it won’t do any good, she will just lie, you already know that. You are probably right, she probably is using, but you don’t need to know for certain. Go with your gut feelings, they are probably right on. The most important part of this is not whether she is using, but how her behavior affects you. Be clear about how her behavior affects you, and please do see the school counselor to talk about your feelings.

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