How Addiction Happens

Question by diamond heart: naive with men??? damaging my life, help.?
ok, here’s the thing: i’ve been in marriages to 2 different men who completely misled me, both of whom ended up either being sociopathic (first one) or pathological liar (second one). both of these men approached me in public places, which is how each relationship began. both had great senses of humor, made me laugh, and were charming in their own ways. after marriage, however, horrible revelations began….everything from pornography and gambling addiction, verbal and emotional abuse (first one, even killed the family pet, at which point i fled the marriage) to compulsive pathological lying, complete impotence and lack of sexual desire and emotional absence, bipolar diagnosis (second one). i was married to the first one for 9 1/2 years and the second one for almost 5 years. the first time, i thought i was marrying a very funny, charming christian man. the second time, i thought i was marrying a war hero, multi-faceted, high standards christian man. whew!
i am in counseling, but i’m being told that i would have had no way of knowing about these things because the men were so good at their game. p.s. i felt really honored to be with the one i’m separated from right now because he had scars to prove his war heroism, and they turned out to be surgeries from his childhood (which i found out recently from his sister)…he never even went to war. i’m very scared and sad that this could happen to me twice. who do you trust?

Best answer:

Answer by Cat-o-bella
You may greatly benefit from therapy with someone who can help you explore why you’d attract and then stay with such kind of men.

Take your time and look at how you contribute to this so you can break the pattern!

Good luck!!

Answer by L.C. M
Give yourself a breathing period. Get to know who you are. You will find someone that has your values then.
Not all men are the same, I am sure of that.

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