How Addiction Happens

Of course you want to overcome your addiction, but you just don’t know where to turn for the right addiction help. Maybe you’ve wanted to overcome your addiction, but have been afraid of the societal stigma and shame that accompanies traditional treatment programs? You may have even tried other treatment programs only to find them unsuccessful, or maybe you’ve achieved recovery only to find yourself relapsing and returning to addiction!

This is where I come in. You see, I’ve discovered the secrets of the root cause of addiction, and the 5-Step process to uncover it, confront it, and overcome it in the privacy of your own home! But, first let me ask you a question;

What do drug, alcohol, sexual, shopping, gambling, and food addictions all have in common?

Well, there are many types of addictions, and they all have a common denominator, but I’ll get to that in a moment. First, let me say that there have been many theories proposed by countless numbers of degreed professionals in the addiction recovery field, but unfortunately, none of them have been clinically proven – especially the disease model! Think about it, if the current treatment approaches to addiction were actually working, the number of addicted Americans would be decreasing. However, The number of addicted Americans has increased 62% from 2002 – 2006, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Agency.

Traditional Programs Fail in Excess of 90% of the Time!

My experience has taught me that the mainstream approach to addiction is fundamentally amiss because formal Drug and Alcohol treatment programs attempt to defeat the symptoms of addiction rather than address the core issue. The majority of all treatment programs offer a group recovery approach as the primary or as a secondary component of their treatment modality. Unfortunately, these groups are often counterproductive and leave the individual at risk for continued relapse.

Recovery groups place a great deal of emphasis on spirituality, powerlessness, and the emergence of a person’s sense of soul. They claim many of the steps of the twelve-step program to be paradoxical. Concluding that you are powerless over addiction, but like magic, you some how become more powerful! The goal of the program is a spiritual awakening although they often admit that most people find it difficult to make this connection because they feel victimized by someone else’s behavior. My experience teaches me to conclude that admitting you are powerless does not promote empowerment and nor does it restore self-esteem! In my opinion, many of the twelve steps are unnecessary, and they are actually counterproductive to making a spiritual connection, increasing self-esteem, and achieving addiction recovery.

Addiction is not a Disease!

Unfortunately, most psychologists, psychiatrists, interventionists, drug and alcohol abuse counselors, and addiction specialists still believe that addiction is a disease, and an incurable one at that! They believe that there is no cure and there is no such thing as completely overcoming an addiction. However, addiction is not the disease that the medical community has deemed it to be. In fact, it is not a disease at all! Addiction is a choice, or what many view as a solution to temporarily remove their underlying emotional pain! Someone that is suffering from addiction merely has a co-dependency to a substance or compulsion in response to removing their emotional pain. This temporary solution quickly becomes a trap because the body and mind adapt requiring more and more of the addictive behavior or substance to remove the pain! However, if you understand why you made this choice in the first place, you can make another by choosing a better solution that will remove the pain, permanently! Yes, there is a better solution! One that you can work through in the privacy of your home, and one that will give you what you truly desire, happiness!

The Square Root of Addiction

So, what is the common denominator for addiction? the root cause of addiction is the underlying emotional trauma cause by family dysfunction.

Take a brief inventory of your feelings. Why does abusing substances or compulsions make you happier? What emotional pain do they temporarily remove? Were you unloved as a child, controlled, inadequately parented, verbally, physically or sexually abused? Did your parents manipulate you, reject you, or abandon you as a child?

You see, the key to beating a drug addiction is to uncover and remove the emotional pain and the inner turmoil that is causing you distress.

Addictive behavior is a symptom of underlying emotional trauma. Therefore, when you fix the root of the problem habitual behavior becomes repulsive. Instead, the mainstream philosophy has followed a pattern of bombarding people with multiple theories and confusing psychobabble, neither of which address liberation from underlying emotional trauma or restoring self-esteem.

The following is a brief outline of the 5 steps to addiction freedom. Prior to following these steps or any addiction recovery program, take the necessary time to ascertain whether you require the additional support of an addiction counselor or medical attention regarding withdrawal.

1. Step One: Unearth the Square Root

Family dysfunction is the common denominator, or square root of all addictive behavior, and until it is brought to the forefront and confronted nothing will change! This is by far the most important and critical step of the entire process. There are two parts to step one, and they are as follows:

A. Uncovering your family dysfunction

Physical abuse

Sexual abuse

Verbal abuse

Alcoholic parent

Controlling parent

Inadequate parenting

B. Confront the parent or parents responsible for the dysfunction

The thought of confronting the person that is responsible for your emotional trauma is one the most frightening situations you will face. However, it is also the most liberating and empowering thing you’ll ever do! Why do you need to confront your parent or parents? Well, first let me clarify the meaning of the word confront and in what context we are using this term. Confronting the person does not at all mean that you should verbally attack them for your misfortunes. On the contrary, you are not doing this for them. You are doing it for you! The confrontation is not meant to be an attack, but it is rather a chance for you to set the record straight and drop the emotional baggage that you’ve been toting around.

Step Two: Remove your Emotional Baggage

You have completed step one and have confronted your parent or parents. This in and of itself will have removed much of the pain and emotional trauma. However, to fully free yourself from their emotional stronghold, it will be necessary to find forgiveness in your heart for a family member that has committed an atrocity against you. Forgive! How can I forgive someone that committed these atrocities against me? Many people have a misconception about forgiveness. Forgiveness is not reconciliation! There is a drastic difference between the two. Reconciliation would mean that you have accepted and submit to their behavior and have agreed to try and continue the relationship under those circumstances. Forgiveness means that you merely give up or cease the resentment of the offender.

Step Three: Cure Wounditis

Without question, partaking in habitual behavior not only causes you pain but, it inflicts pain on the people around you as well. However, do not allow what you have done in the past or what others have done to you, to cause you to live in fear of what the future holds. The past is the past, it is over, and living in it does not serve anyone well. Live in the present moment, be kind to yourself, and learn to love yourself. How can you love someone else if you don’t love yourself? The answer is you can’t!!! It isn’t a big secret that you’re feeling shame and guilt for what you’ve done. In fact, you’re probably questioning right now as to whether you should be punished for your past actions. Well guess what, its ok! God doesn’t punish people, we punish ourselves. God is a loving and forgiving being. So if you thought that you would continue to punish yourself with shame and guilt before God gets a hold of you, you can stop right now! We do not have defects of character, are not full of shortcomings, and we certainly are not powerless! On the Contrary, we are all the same, we are all connected, and we all have the same power to change!

Step Four: Awaken the Power within

Whether you want to admit it or not, all of the pain you have been through concerning your habitual behavior is a spiritual lesson. And until you view it as such, it will continue to cause you suffering and unhappiness. Every dark cloud does have a silver lining, and if you look hard enough you’ll find one in this habitual situation too. However, to find that silver lining you must ask the right questions;

1. What can I learn from my addiction?

2. How can I grow from it?

The answers to these questions can be found in a place that is uncharted by most, and it is just waiting to be explored! It’s called your true self!

To embark on a journey of Self -reflection requires the practice of Mediation.

For more information on mediation you can visit my website below.

Step five: Practice Acts of Random Kindness

Happiness is a state of mind. Individuals that are suffering from addictive behavior are not happy! Ironically, in an attempt to find happiness, they chose a vehicle to mask their emotional pain through the use of alcohol, illicit drugs, and various other compulsions. However, happiness is never found on the outside in material possessions or in the abuse of substances and compulsions! True life happiness can only be found in one place, and that place is within! Happiness is not found in the practice of outward ideals or in other people. To the contrary, it is actually the small acts of random kindness that opens the heart and fuels the principle of unconditional love!

To practice spirituality is to be of service to your fellow man and make no mistake about it that is why we are all here. Begin with small acts of kindness such as opening a door for someone, letting someone go before you in the checkout line or just taking the time to offer a kind word to an older person or a child. You get the picture! The first thing I do upon waking in the morning is think of how I can be of service and throughout the day I am always mindful of opportunities that present themselves for me to do just that. You know, the paradox of the whole thing is that the more kind and generous you are the more love, kindness and abundance you’ll receive back. Don’t believe me! Just try it and watch what begins to happen to you.

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