How Addiction Happens

Question by B.: Who can I talk to when I feel so lost?
I’ve been seeing a special counselor. She’s in training so anything I tell her still has to be kept secret except if she thinks Im harming myself or someone is harming/harmed me. I was raped sometime ago. No one believed me. So I guess after things got pilled ontop of that and everything got worse, I started cutting. Now its like an addiction. I cant not do it for very long. When I dont cut, I cant sleep and I get very irritable. I can’t tell my counselor these things but these are what actually bother me. In our sessions, she keeps hinting that she knows what happened to me. By saying things such as “Maybe you’re scared of not being in control and closed rooms because you were in a room and didnt have control of what happened.” When she says that I start snapping my hairtie because I get a cutting/nervous urge. She’s noticed that too and asked my opinion on self mutilating teens. I feel very uncomfortable when she makes assumptions. Lastly, my sister thinks I’m perfect like her. The thing is, she doesnt like my best friend because she’s lesbian. I might be lesbian. I’ve felt like I have since I was really young and after what happened to me with a man I dont think I could ever be with one. So my sister doesnt want me starting to cut(too late), being lesbian(uhhhh), hanging out with my best friend, doing drugs, or doing anything. My sister asked if I was lesbian and I lied to her. Just lied. Now all of this has built up and I have NO ONE to tell. I cant tell my counselor, my best friend, or my sister. So I feel alone. I dont want to be depressed again. Please. Help. Ideas. Suggestions. Whatever you have I need it.

Best answer:

Answer by COOL ENOUGH
Just listen to your heart and what u want to be what u want to do. Dont listen to anyone else. This is your life not thiers. The person who raped you! What was to be done is done. You cant undo it. So stop thinking about your future and present. Stop messing with your brain for things that cant be done. Live a happy and self controlled life. You got to decide what is good and what is bad for you. And if you ever need to talk to someone u can talk to me. I will be glad to help you. U can email me at [email protected]

Answer by Leah
I honestly think you should tell your counselor, but if you really can’t don’t freak. First of all, doing drugs can kill you, it is bad for you short term and long term.
Listen to happy, inspirational music, like demi lovato. She has bulimia and cuts. But she gothelp, and so she doesn’t do that stuff anymore. Try the song skyscraper. Remember, that people will not think you are a bad person for cutting, they will see you need help.
For support, email me through my profile on yahoo answers ( I don’t wanna post my email on here)
P.s., there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian. 🙂

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