Why Does My Friend Put Up With Being Abused by Her Partner?!?
Question by Ghost: Why does my friend put up with being abused by her partner?!?
I met my best friend in primary school and we’ve been close since, til about 8 years ago she met a man, I knew he was no good from the start. He’s over 20 years older than her and has been charged with car theft, drugs and involved in gangs in the past (present)?
Anyway, now she has 2 children with him and they’re planning marriage (!)
Since she got with him she became distant towards me because he didn’t like us being so close! I only get to speak to her about once every month or so but she has told me he has gotten drunk beaten her black and blue, knocked her teeth out, strangulated her, raped her and beats her if she says no! But when I tell her to leave him she says -*Oh, it’s OK! He doesn’t do it often! He’s going to change! He promises!* He’s also cheated on her 4 times and has a baby with another woman.
I am not even allowed to visit her house because he hates me so much and has before today sent me racially abusive texts and FB messages.
Her main excuse for staying with this no – job, drug abusing, woman abusing drunken POS?
That she needs him there because her children NEED to grow up with their father! Despite the fact he lost his temper with their oldest daughter and threw a beer glass at the wall next to where she stood! How is a man like that good to have around children?
What is her logic? What can I do to help her? I’m scared to tell the police in case he finds out and harms her… It’s agony to watch her go through this. :/
Best answer:
Answer by Freedom Fighter
Abusers keep their victim living in: fear, totally control them, and more..encourage her to leave..
Answer by The Machine gun woman
She fell in love with him BECAUSE he is an “alpha” male. a man who cheats and beats. She LOVES the fact other women want him . That makes him so attractive to her.She won’t admit it but she does. If she leaves him she will just find another just like him who cheats and beats her.If she doesn’t she will despise any man who treats her well.She will treat him like dirt and walk all over him.She has an ” alpha addiction”. Many women suffer form this.To stop it they have to admit they have an “alpha addiction” .
The only way you can help is to call child services. sometimes they can make the Mother’s see the light. If the children are being abused you should. Because if she really cared for her children she would leave. She is too deep into her alpha addiction to care for them.
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