How Addiction Happens

Question by crlschlopy: Women – would you deal with this in a relationship?
I am a 26 year old woman and have been with this guy for almost 8 years and we have a 7 year old daughter together. I moved 3 hours away from my family to be with him and as soon as I moved in with him I began being harassed by his crazy ex-girlfriend. They also have a child together and at the time. she was 3 1/2. I would receive phone calls from her (the child) to “leave my daddy alone” and “go back where you came from”. She would follow us around in grocery stores, showing up at the apt we were living in and causing a big scene calling me all kinds of names (hoe, bitch, skank, ect) The threatening call were never ending. The harassment was never ending. He would go to his ex to visit his daughter because the mother didnt want the child around me. I soon became pregnant and was threatened that she would kill me and my baby. Forced herself in my apt and attempted to hit me, but was retrained my my b/f. Cops were called SEVERAL times during all these incidents and nothing was ever done about anything because the police didnt see it. I was threatened while in the hospital with complications with the baby. I wasn’t very welcomed in to his family. His sister was very rude to me and got in my face a few times for no apparent reason. Now, I am a calm and civil person with a good heart. Never fought back or really did anything to stoop to their level.It really frustrated me that I was being treated like I was and all i did was date a guy. I found out later he had 2 other kids – two boys he only seen when they were babies. Both mothers took the children and moved away. I tried getting close with his family but they all turned on my several times and backstabbed me. After I had my child my bf wanted me to be a stay at home mother and didn’t want me to work. It was a rough 4-5 years, raising my child on my own basically while he was at work 12 hours – 2 weeks of days and 2 weeks of night flip flopping. I have always been into the computer and its always been a kind of a hobby for me with the social networking sites and so forth. During those first 4 years or so, I spent my free time on the computer to occupy myself while I was by myself and my child. Ive admittedly done things I shouldn’t have, crossing the line a few times but I was young and was just trying to keep myself sane and wanted friends to talk to. Its tough living 3 hours away from your family with no support or family to help you out.. especially emotionally. My boyfriend was ALWAYS miserable, depressed and never was happy at all. I devoted all my time to him and I got pushed away in every way. The more he did this, the more I gave him his space. It seems every time Ive ever tried getting close, I was always too close and he didnt want that. I was never allowed to talk to any other males, because I would get accused of looking for someone else. He would always dig to find dirt on me (still does) He has a porn obsession/addiction.. all he wants to do is look at porn. even asked me to engage in a swingers club..?? He was diagnosed with manic-depressive when he was in his teens (hes 34 now) and is suppose to take meds but doesn’t. He will go on these rants about how he has all these goals and wants to save money but never can then the next minute hes all loving and doesn’t care about money. He has smashed a $ 800 laptop because he didn’t like me on the internet. I bee currently working for my mother and helping her with her expanding ebay business. He’s shit my cell phone off a few times. Told me to leave and get out his house and that he just wants me out of his life. Then when I leave, he cries to me demanding I come back and hes sorry and it wont happen again. Threated to kill himself last time I left him and that he cant live without me. Everytime I discuss a goal I have, he just brushes it off telling me “that’ll never happen”. Constantly putting me down and telling me how i’ll be a nobody. He just stayed up all night till 4am, video chatting and looking at porn…then he tried deleting the history..but I’m smarter than that.
Like I said, I’m a very social person. I love talking to people. I have a huge heart and live for God. I’m very positive and just want to have fun and really LIVE my life. I’m not about sleeping around or talking dirty to people. Ive always been a one guy girl. I just dont like people telling me who I can and cannot talk to and if I do talk to a guy… im automatically not happy and looking for somebody else when that is SOOO not the case. Like I said, I am very spiritual and i love spreading my positive energy talk with everybody and anybody. Just a normal everyday conversation or even any advice people may want. I am highly respectful of myself and I dont let others take that from me. I make sure I know what I am doing and why I do and say things. I’m very self-aware of what goes on and im very non-judgmental.I never fight, pick fights,

Best answer:

Answer by Ryan
honey this guy is running you re life. His family is being completely rude to you. Did he do anything about this? honey i would not put up with this. You seem like a really nice gal and you deserve way better than this. You know this guy seems like he has some issues and you and your child should not be present to this. You should have fun and live your life like you want to. Your still young . If i were you i would not deal with this. You shouldn’t have to . You can do wayyyy better.

-hope this helps 🙂

Answer by SandraLAVixen
I would not, never have, and never will be, with anyone who already had an ex and children.

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